In Part 1, we looked at ways to mirror and match the actions of other people. This time, we will examine sense modalities and show how you can use them to create Instant Rapport.
Most of us are blessed with five senses, which we use to receive information from the world around us. Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), among other things, studies the relationship between language and brain function.
NLP has determined that some people are primarily visually oriented (V). Others are more auditory (A). And some are more in touch with their physical feelings and emotions, or what is termed kinesthetic (K). From this, we get the term VAK.
USING VAK
You can tell which sensory mode someone prefers to use by listening the words they say.
Visuals think in pictures and the language they use reflects that. They might say, “I see what you mean,”” I get the picture” or “That looks good to me.” In a sales presentation, a Visual prospect might say,” Show me what you’ve got.”
An Auditory might say, “That sounds good,” “I hear what you’re saying” or “That rings true.” During a staff meeting, an Auditory might say,” “Let me hear your idea.”
A Kinesthetic will “Want to get a handle on something,” “Try it on for size” or “Have a gut feeling.” If your are making a proposal to a Kinesthetic, he or she might say, “Lay it on me.”
The key then, to creating Instant Rapport with each of these types is to use language that they can understand and relate to. To do otherwise would be like going to Germany and refusing to speak German, even though you know the language.
If you say to an Auditory, “Do you see what I mean?” they won’t. But if you ask, “Do you hear what I’m saying?” they probably will. Not only that, they’re more likely to agree with you because you are speaking their language.
And when you speak their language, you create rapport.
VAK IN BUSINESS AND SALES.
In a sales situation, or any other time that you are trying to convince someone to do something, present your pitch or idea in a way that is most compatible with the way someone’s brain works.
Visual people want to see pictures of the product or, if possible, the product itself. They find graphs and charts more convincing than the words you say.
An Auditory will prefer to hear what you have to say and will note how you say it. Do you speak with an air of confidence and authority, or does your voice betray uncertainty, fear or deception?
A Kinesthetic will want to touch the product or hold the brochure or chart. Let them do this. If you need to point out something on the product or brochure, don’t take it away from them. Have a second one for yourself.
When using VAK, keep in mind that almost nobody uses any one sense modality to the exclusion of others. There is usually a mix. Also, the primary modality may change, depending on the situation. So always listen for the verbal cues to determine which sensory mode is dominant at the moment and adjust your language accordingly.
Even so, there is usually one sense in particular that someone prefers to the others. Once you discover what it is, and use that knowledge wisely, you have one more key to Instant Rapport.
And once you have rapport, getting what you want becomes that much easier.
Adapted from the new book “Power Persuasion:” Using Hypnotic Influence to Win in Life, Love and Business,” by David R. Barron and Danek S. Kaus
Copyright 2005 Danek Kaus